


Out of Love

by ToWhomItMayConcern



Category: Star Wars, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, song lyric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:28:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22540243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToWhomItMayConcern/pseuds/ToWhomItMayConcern
Summary: When did you fall out of love with me?
Relationships: Din Djarin/Reader, Din Djarin/You, The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)/Fem!Reader, The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)/Reader, The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)/You
Comments: 28
Kudos: 244





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The lyric and title is from the song "Out of Love" by Alessia Cara!
> 
> I personally recommend listening to the slowed down version.

You couldn’t comprehend the words that were being said to you. You understood what they meant, heard every word clear as day. And yet it still felt like you were short circuiting; every thought and emotion whizzing around like a blaster. You were aware of the man standing in front of you, the cause of your shock, still and calculated as he watched you.

You opened your mouth to say something, but all’s that came out was a chocked gasp. You had to swallow and lick your lips, mouth going dry.

“I’m sorry,” Din said, his voice somehow steady. “But I don’t... have any feelings for you anymore. I’ll take you wherever you need to go.”

Din Djarin was now the infamous bounty hunter, the Mandalorian that everyone feared. Very little words and emotions, which only angered you.

“When?” You gasped out in disbelief.

The Mandalorian sighed, going tense. “I don’t -.”

“When did you fall out of love with me?”

You thought back to the first time you ever met him. It probably wasn’t the most ideal, the both of you covered in blood and dirt from fighting off a few other bounty hunters. The Mandalorian was impressed enough with your fighting and survival skills, followed along by your intense beauty. It surprised you when he asked you to join him on the Razor Crest, but you accepted right away, excited to have a partner. You even became close with the Child, which over time only fueled your love and adoration for the man of enigmas.

The way he said your name made your heart clench and your chest tightened. You willed yourself to calm down, you didn’t need to have a full on panic attack in front of the man when he was leaving you.

He didn’t love you anymore.

“I realized it a week ago.”

That would explain why he had been so distant and harsh towards you. You suspected as much after the first few days, but hearing it still made it real; it fucking terrified you.

You nodded. You tried to find something else to say. You knew begging wasn’t an option: Din wouldn’t do this for fun and he was a man of his word. What he said usually went. So there was only one thing to do and you weren’t sure on how you were going to cope.

“That... changes things.” Your voice was steady, determined to make it through this hell.

You’re just not in love with me. Not like I am.

“Okay,” you whispered.

You wanted to tell him that you’d always love him too. That no one could or would be able to replace him. You wanted to say this and more but you knew if you did there’d be no turning back; you’d break into a million pieces right then and there and start crying and pleading.

You were stronger than this though, and you needed to be strong for him. The man held so much love in his heart, it didn’t take you long to see it at all. Though he was the one breaking your heart, you could tell it was breaking him almost just as much; you knew he never wanted to hurt you in any way and you appreciated him telling you now rather than waiting. You also didn’t want to cause anymore hurt between the two of you. He had the Child to still protect, you needed to make sure he was steady enough to continue.

These revelations did not make the soothe the pain in any way. You bit your lips to stop the tremble, tears burning in the back of your eyes.

You told him to take you to a nice, beautiful planet; where the oceans were clear and where you wouldn’t be bothered. The trip there was quiet, tense. You spent as much time as you could with the Child, trying to stay happy for his sake. You did, however, explain to him that it would be a while before he’d see you again; you didn’t have the heart to tell him that this was the last time he’d ever see you.

It was weird stepping out of the Razor Crest without the Child or Din following. Without Din pressing the forehead of his silver helmet against the flesh of yours, a symbolic version of a kiss.

“Just,” Din croaked behind the modulator. You turned around wearily, eyeing him carefully.

The visor of his helmet met your eyes, and it seemed like hours before he continued.

“Be safe. Be happy. Please.”

How can I?

“You too, Din.”

The dam finally broke once the ship disappeared into the galaxy. Smacking your palm against the sobs tumbling out of your mouth, you crumbled to the soft sandy ground. Your heart felt like it was bleeding, and it felt as though the tears were never ending.

It could’ve been hours of you sitting there, letting out your grief. After a while your sobs finally started to die down and you took this opportunity to inspect your surroundings.

One day at a time.

Taking a deep breath you stood up, legs shaking from nearly falling asleep, and brushed off the sand from your clothes.

Din Djarin let out the scream that was clawing at him from his chest. It took everything in him to stop the tears as he saw your face crumble and sink at his lie. He wanted to vomit at the words he was saying to you, creeping up like acid in his throat.

When he called you back as he watched you step off the ramp - it killed him to think that this would be the last time he’d see you step off his ship - he wanted to tell you just how much you really meant to him. That there would never be anyone else for him, it’d always be you.

It was getting too dangerous traveling with him. You were starting to get recognized the more time you spent with him, and it got to the point where an enemy said your name and Din panicked. He couldn’t risk putting you in harms way anymore.

He wanted to punch the wall in front of him. Wanted to take back everything he said and just run away with you and the Child. He wanted a family with you, to spend the rest of his life by your side. Din was willing to give up the very religion he stood by for years just to take the chances of an happy and long life with you.

But now he’ll never get that and he took that chance away from you as well. He would never forgive himself for the hurt and pain he caused, but there was one thing: you were safe. If the changes of you being happier and safer were higher without him then he would bear the pain because you meant so much more than his own life. You deserved the world, and he was damned if he was going to drag you down with him.

“I never stopped,” Din whimpered to himself, answering your question from earlier.

When did you fall out of love with me?


	2. Lovely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of leaving you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask and ye shall receive. As always, thank you to everyone for all the love and support!

You would be laughing at him right now, shaking your head at the mess he got himself into. Literally. Covered in mud and guts, Din trudged silently to the Razor Crest, head down and every step heavier than the last.

He left you

It was slowly killing him. His heart hung with a thick loneliness, the kind that seemed impossible to ever overcome; he could die any day and the Child would be alone and in even more danger than he already was, and you would never know just how much he loved you and how much he fucking hated himself ever since that horrible day, and his last words would be left in the wind; whispers wisped away in the air, silent and blue. 

The Child also seemed to understand the loss and would wonder around aimlessly in search for your grin and hug. Din would leave the ship, making sure the baby was okay, and come back with bruised knuckles and speckles of blood on his armor.

It seemed to be a constant for him, losing the people he cared about. Some, like Kuill, would probably still be alive and you would still be here, with him, smiling and laughing and looking at him like he was the most important thing in the galaxy; he will never understand the unconditional love you had (have) for him, he didn’t deserve it.

The Child’s gurgles brought his attention back to reality. He made it to the ship, closed the ramp, and put in it hyperspace, all subconscious routine. He petted the baby’s big green ear, giving him his shiny ball. The Child waved his hand at him, smiling around the toy. It was dangerous, being around the baby like this; it gave him hope. Hope that he had no right sharing, no right to feel or experience. Because all’s he done is bad – the Child was the only thing so far that Din felt he had done some good to.

He sighed in frustration when the baby fell asleep in his makeshift seat. He had been sitting there with the Child, still covered in filth, mindlessly gazing at the stars. The days blurred more and more like these: client, bounty, credits, leave, repeat. It was numbing, but it was exactly what Din needed. Being alone with his thoughts was bad enough, dark and consuming.

Din shook his head. No, the Child needed to rest too, and he needed to clean himself up. Shredding off his armor, then his clothes, he glared at himself in the small mirror of the fresher. The man staring back at him was broken, angry, and devastating. There were prominent bags under his brown eyes, his hair was getting too long now, as was his growing stubble, but he didn’t find it in himself to care. This was well warranted.

The warm stinging of the water on his back was the only thing he felt today – or any day for that matter – that actually relaxed him. His tensed muscles gave out a dull ache among the soothing of the water, slowly stretching and opening. These were the only moments where he allowed himself to feel a little of everything. Alone, naked in every way, and quiet. Some nights his sobs would echo among the ship, so dull and lifeless without the bounce of your steps, the sway of your hips as you coyly walked over to him or danced to a song you hummed when you were lost in your thoughts. They would suffocate him, dragging down to the deepest depths of his own personal hell.

He had to stop because if he kept going like this it was going to kill him. Every time he would close his eyes for a second to rest, your face would the first thing he’d see; disoriented, blurred, like you were trying to disappear from his memories. He was destructive enough to keep those memories, letting them haunt him until the feel of his armor was too much, and the helmet was too heavy and he was starting to fucking loathe it and –

He fell with a heavy thud on the hard, cold floor of the ship. Din felt the pain of the fall through his elbows and his knees, but instead of getting back up he curled on the spot. He hugged his knees to his chest, burying his head in between them the best he could. It felt like his heart was literally in pain, every nerve in his body pumping excruciatingly through the grief. He came to the conclusion that it was never going to stop.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

Din surely didn’t need Cara Dune to tell him that. She stood in front of him with an angry frown outside of the cantina – he couldn’t remember the name of the planet they were on – arms on her hips as she assessed the Mandalorian. Even with all that durasteel, it was clear he was still a complete wreck.

“Why’d you think it was a good idea to just start a fight like that?”

Because maybe, if I revert to before she walked into my life, the pain will become more bearable. Maybe, I truly am the monster, the heartless, like everyone thinks I am. I deserve it.

He shrugged. He knew the real reason why, but he wasn’t going to tell her; he wasn’t ready to talk about you.

She sighed. “Mando, I know where she is.”

He audibly froze, fists clenching and heart falling. He wanted to run away, escape this conversation that was bound to come and go back to his bubble.

“Y – “

“Don’t,” he snarled. It came out rougher than he thought it would but didn’t flinch at the annoyed yet worried expression that crossed her face. “Don’t say her name.”

I’m too weak to fight through this. I see her face every day, do not let me hear her name.

“No, you don’t,” Cara retorted back. “Do you have any idea on what you did to her? How fucking shattered she was when I found her? I mean I get it Mando, I do, but it could’ve been handled better.”

No, she didn’t get it. How could she? When she wasn’t the one who fell in love with you, let you open yourself up, only to shatter you over what was always inevitable. How could she, when she didn’t live inside his head, didn’t feel how worthless he felt now over the damaged he’d caused. She wouldn’t understand why he was letting the pain kill him, strip of him of everything he was and built himself up to be. There was a small moment where he did want to tell her all this and more, but instead he said -

“I know.”

There was a pause, and it was then that Din frowned.

“Is…” He hated how weak he sounded. “I- is she okay? Safe, I mean.”

Cara looked down for a second, and he immediately knew something was wrong. His body went on autopilot, grabbing her arm and giving it a little shake.

“Cara, tell me. Now.”

She glared at him until he backed off, shaking her head at him. “Look, she’s gonna hate me for this, but she has gotten herself into some trouble. And it’s the kind of trouble that you’re quite familiar with, where she’s going to need some help.”

His blood ran cold. Of course, he left to protect you from this kind of danger, and you’d be the first to run headfirst into it.

Din barely gave Cara a chance to say anymore before he was rushing towards the direction of his ship, looking over his shoulder to make sure she was following.


	3. Start Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Din and Cara set off to find you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this early because I finally finally finally got chapter three out. And there's a cliffhanger whoops
> 
> *Italics are flashbacks*
> 
> tumblr @aint-that-a-mcfreakin-bitch

Din sat in his seat, gripping onto the controls until Cara had to tell him to stop. He resorted to keeping his fists clenched in his lap. 

“She was back at Sorgan for some time,” Cara told him as soon as they stepped foot onto the Razor Crest. “When I asked her why she came back, she said she missed the people. Think she was just trying to hide.”

_Probably. From me._

“And?”

“And,” she shrugged. “She attracted some assassins along the way. Most likely still looking for the kid. She goes back and forth between that planet you left her on and Sorgan, depending on jobs I’m guessing. We just have to stop here and make sure she hasn’t made another stop.”

As if he understood her, the Child turned towards her with a curious gurgle, ears perked up and eyes shining bright with the shine of a thousand stars flaring by. 

It did nothing to appease the rapid pounding of his heart, the drop of his stomach each time he thought of every bad thing that could be happening to you. 

And it ended all the same. All by _his_ fault. 

In that moment, he wished he never met you. 

_He wasn’t expecting to bring a new person onto his ship that day. Or to be brutally ambushed by a few geonosians._

_Now he thought he had it all under control. Three were down by the time there were only two left, he remembered that clear as day, but one had managed to snag him from behind._

_Before it could take a bite out of him, there was a loud bang, and the screeches of the geonosians as they scurried and fell to the ground._

_Breathing heavily, he turned towards the source, a timid thank you on his lips._

_“You alright there?” You asked, grinning down at him with your blaster still in hand._

_“Yeah,” he grunted, sitting up and taking your offered hand. “Thank you.”_

_You shrugged. “No problem. Figured you needed the help.”_

_He knew you expected at least a small chuckle at the tease, but he couldn’t offer it. Instead he just nodded and proceeded to make his way back to his ship._

_“Hey,” you called out to him, skipping to catch up to him. “You uh – do you need an extra hand?_

_He didn’t stop in his tracks, and you didn’t hesitate to keep up with him. He found that a little annoying._

_“No.”_

_You scoffed beside him, walking sideways so you could still look at him. “Are you sure? I can be of value. Combat, mechanics… tracking! You name it and I can do it.”_

_You were a persistent one, he’ll give you that much. Din sighed and finally stopped, turning to you._

_“And what makes you so sure I need your help?”_

_You smirked. “Weeeelll, I did just save your ass back there.” You pointed towards the mess behind them._

_He huffed. But you did have a point._

_He contemplated for a moment, giving you a hard stare. You stood your ground, staring right back at him without so much of a flinch._

_He liked you right then and there._

_“Alright,” he relented. “But I also have a child on my ship. Think you can handle that too?”_

_Your eyebrows raised, taken aback. “You have a child with you? And they’re alone on your ship right now?”_

_He wanted to take back his previous thought of liking you. He didn’t need to add another person to the list of calling him out on some of his questionable and growing parental skills._

_But before he could respond you chuckled, throwing your hands up and slapping them against your thighs._

_“Okay. I’m in.”_

Din couldn’t say he _completely_ regretted meeting you. You made him feel loved, safe, open. Like he could crack open his heart, hand it to you in open palms, and he knew you would take it delicately; mend it, mold it as your own and give it back with a special glow, a kiss to his lips, a window to his soul with a free, clear breeze that smelled of home. 

“Mando.”

He jumped a little, but not enough for Cara to see. 

“What?”

“We’re going to be there soon,” she said. “And I need you to listen to me very carefully, okay?”

She waited for his nod before continuing. “You follow my lead, okay? I can take you to the people that want her dead but you cannot go off on your own, understand?”

Din frowned, confused by these instructions. But with your life on the line, he had no time to argue and nodded his head in affirmation. 

It felt like lightyears before they finally landed on the grassy, small planet. He put the Child away in his bunk, grabbing as many weapons as he could before impatiently opening the ramp. 

“Careful.” Cara reminded him. 

He cursed himself. For putting you in this situation in the first place. For leaving you. For being as fucking nervous as he were in that moment, not only in not knowing what he was going to find, but in seeing your face again. He knew you would curse him out, cross your arms over your chest – a habit you usually did when you struggled not to cry or throw yourself at him – and not being able to _touch_ you. _Kiss_ you, like’d dreamt of every night since he left. 

“Alright. Let’s go.”

Din knew exactly where Cara was going. He remembered the path all too well, and could hear the laughter of children afar. 

“Cara?” He slowed in his steps. 

Cara ducked down by the trees, just far enough to be able to see the little village. He could see most of the familiar faces, going about their day without even knowing of their presence. 

“Cara?” He asked again. 

She shushed him gently and pointed a finger. “There.”

Din followed the direction to which she was pointing and squinted his eyes at recognition. 

Omera threw her head back in a laugh, her smile still as sweet as the day she housed them, and his eyes shifted to the person standing in front of her... 

His heart stopped, muscles stiff and unyielding, chest tightening and burning for the air he withheld. 

It was like everything around him froze. Stuck in a painting of a literal second facade, painted by time’s departure. 

But _you_. You were the only one unaffected by such an illusion, glowing with your dimpled smile, simple blue fitting, longer hair and your hands, running over the slope of your round stomach. 

He heard Cara’s voice, sounding so far away despite the little distance between them, hushingly trying to bring him back from the depths of his panicked spiral. 

His body moved before his mind could catch up. He didn’t know where exactly he was going, just avoiding the trees and bushes, feeling his head spin and vision blur. 

“Mando stop!”

_Who was that again?_

“Mando,” Cara breathed, laying a hand on his arm. “Stop. Just let me explain.”

Like he’d be able to say anything when it felt as though there was a ton of steel dropped on him, suffocating him. 

“I wasn’t lying about the going back and forth,” she started. “She did for about a week before she found out. When she did, she broke down to me, and I suggested that she stay here. I just —”

“Why are you doing this to me?” He whispered, the modulator crackling. The anger was clear, soft in his plea. 

She gave him a torn look. “Because that’s _your_ child too. And I understand why you did what you did, I wasn’t lying when I said that. But… but I think you deserve a shot at this too.”

He couldn’t breathe. Whether that be from his own doing or the helmet’s, he wasn’t sure, but his face felt hot and the rest of his body felt like it had been dipped in frozen ice water. 

Flashes of your face flooded his eyes. Your wide grin, soft hands running through his hair, your twinkled eyes as they bore into his visor. Of ⸺

_“Course,” you giggled. “But what about that time on that one planet… I forget what it was called but I —”_

_“Hoth.” Din interrupted. “And I didn’t ask you to do that. You’re the one who attacked me.”_

_You frowned rather adorably. “I didn’t attack you,” you argued. “Seduced. I seduced you. There’s a difference.”_

_“Is there?” He muttered idly, playing with strands of your hair._

_“Yes.”_

_“Well,” he grunted, turning to his side to push you on your back. “How about you show me then?”_

_You laughed, so loud but so melodic, and his heart swelled at the untampered happiness radiating from you._

If his math was correct, that would be the night. The night that _that_ happened. 

He didn’t remember sitting down, but he felt the searing heat of Cara sitting down next to him, trying to coax him. 

“Start over.”

Din waited for more, but there was nothing but the distant chatter and the grumps of frogs. His breathing started to level as he focused on the sounds around him, his head pounding but he didn’t mind it so much. There was just too much going on. 

“I – I don’t know if I can.”

He sounded so lost, so _broken_ , it even made Cara’s heart clench. 

“How do I even know if she’ll let me back. If they’ll be safe and happy and —”

“Din,” she sighed. “Look, you have a lot of making up to do. But she does want you to be a part of your child’s life. To be a part of her life again. _Kriff_ Din she still talks about you almost every day. Asking if you’re okay, if I’ve heard anything from you. My point is that you shouldn’t run away from this out of fear. You have a family now. Run _towards_ them.”

Din exhaled deeply as her words soaked in. His heart hung heavy under the weight of his internal battle, torn between the chances of keeping you and his child safe and for letting himself be happy; giving himself into the life that most people fought for, _dreamt_ of, and here he was having to decide on whether he was going to throw all that away. 

“She needs to be safe.” He finally whispered. “I can’t give that to her. Not now, not yet.”

He stood up, surprisingly straight despite the strains in his muscles. “Can I ask a favor of you?”

Cara grunted softly as she followed suit, nodding her head with a soft smile. “Yeah I already know what you’re going to ask, and I will under one condition.”

Din gave a tilt of his head. 

“Talk to her.”

He sighed. He saw that coming a mile away. Yet he still wasn’t ready to face you, to face the anger and betrayal that he knew very well he deserved. 

It was going to make leaving impossible if he saw your stomach, so round with _his_ baby growing inside you. 

_“I wish I could sleep in like him.” You said, tracing circles on his chest. “He looks so comfortable and warm.”_

_“And I’m not?” Din huffed playfully._

_You grinned mischievously with a shrug to your shoulders. “Eh. You’re alright.”_

_He grunted, trailing his hands by your sides, knowing that you were ticklish. You squirmed in his arms, realizing what he was trying to do._

_“Din.”_

_“Yes?”_

_“Don’t be mean.” You pouted._

_“You started it.”_

_Before you could retort he attacked, making you yelp and jump in his arms._

_“O – Okayokay stop, I yield I yield!”_

_He laughed with you. “Not enough.”_

_You tried to keep quiet, not wanting to wake the Child, but failed miserably with another scream._

_“Din stop! Stop stop stop — OKAY YOU WIN I’M SORRY I LOVE YOU!”_

_Din froze. Your laughter died down as you realized what you just said, your mouth agape._

_“Kriff it just — Y-you don’t have to say it back.” You said quickly. “I get it, I’m not going to be upset.”_

_It took a few moments before he could speak. “Do… do you mean it?”_

_Your expression turned to one of offense, and he would’ve chuckled at it if his heart wasn’t skipping beats sporadically._

_“Of course I do you moron! I would never say it if I didn’t.”_

_He was happy you couldn’t see his face in the dark room. That dumbfounded look would be saved entirely for him, the look of pure shock and love in his eyes at your devotion to him, clean and tamed. At the firm of your beauty, the soft wisps of your words, your scent filling his senses like a drug._

_At the thought of you sitting next to him, just as old and gray as he (magically). Of bundles of your creations fussing in your arms, his eyes staring right back at him._

But he couldn’t push the words out. Couldn’t form the right words to describe his love for you. How deep he was, buried into your soul in a soft bedding, protected by the grace of your aura. His heart screamed at him, shriveled away into a box locked tight and thrown into in the fear of the absolute fucking _unknown_.

“Cara —”

“She deserves that much,” she stopped him. “She deserves to know that you still love her.”

_How can I fucking not?_

He opened his mouth to argue, the fear too strong with his increasing anxiety, when —

“Din?”


	4. Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Din’s discovery.

Din watched you from afar. 

Your smile radiated throughout the small little valley. He used to think it was the most beautiful thing in the world; your smile, your laughter, your eyes, your nose, your—he could go on and on. 

It’s not that he didn’t think any of that anymore, oh definitely not. He couldn’t imagine his life without you. 

But, there was his little girl. His little girl, with his hair and your eyes, grabbing a handful of flowers with small, grubby hands. The Child ran behind her, or as much as he could; he was having fun regardless. 

His little girl, who brought him nothing but happiness. Who gave him a whole new meaning to his life, who saved him from his own self destruction. The little human girl that Din would undoubtedly and unconditionally love for the rest of his days, and even after if that was a possibility; the one he would give up  _ everything _ for. 

So yeah, you used to be on the very, very top of that list of beautiful things he’d seen in his lifetime. That was before she came along. And when he first laid eyes on your daughter,  _ his _ daughter, he couldn’t stop crying after getting over the initial shock that this beautiful baby girl was a part of him. It amazed him that someone like him, hard, vicious, quiet, and dangerous, could create something so precious and small. 

Din, however, never planned for any of this. He never prepared himself for a family. For a quiet, settled life in a nice little valley. For you. Even watching his small but perfect family ahead of him, he still couldn’t fathom that fact that this was his. At first, it just didn’t seem… right. 

“Din?”

_ Cara thought she was going to have to grab Mando and shake him. Slap him even, if it woke him up from his anxiety induced trance. You stood there, swollen belly and a fury of emotions; shock, a double take, comprehension, grief, acceptance, then anger. Pure anger that even had the ex trooper scared.  _

_ “Y-Y/N.” Din breathed. It felt—good, saying your name like that again without the pain punching him in the gut. The guilt, yes that was still there of course. But you were there, standing in front of him, carrying his child and looking like you were absolutely ready to murder him. It kinda made him feel whole again.  _

_ “Cara,” you said with a calmness that made Cara shiver. “Can you please leave us alone for a minute?” _

_ Din was rightfully terrified. You may have been heavily pregnant, but he knew without a doubt that you would and could destroy him.  _

_ You were seething in your silent rage. He could sense it. And because of that, he didn’t dare say another word until you did.  _

_ “Why?” You said calmly; a hidden storm waiting to explode with devastating rage. _

_ That one word, so simple and short, was enough to make him shudder out a breath, so filled with unshed tears and a heartache so strong that it was going to kill him.  _

_ “I had t—” _

_ “Don’t,” you snarled, your voice layered with the tears streaming down your cheeks. “Don’t you dare say that, Din. You didn’t have to, you wanted to.” _

_ His heart broke all over again. He made the love of his life, his rock, his world, believe that he—he didn’t want her. You truly believed him when he said it, and he knew it was no one’s fault but his own, but hearing it from you was a whole nother thing on its own. It made it feel even more real, a sin he couldn’t cleanse.  _

_ “So tell me,” you continued when he didn’t speak. “Tell me why you’re here. If you didn’t want me, or…” she gulped, furiously wiping away the tears, not that it did much good. “Or love me anymore. Why are you here?” Then realization dawned on you. “Cara.” _

_ “She brought me here. I didn’t know…” That probably wasn’t the best thing to say, but it was the truth.  _

_ Your face hardened and your eyes became colder. “How long are you staying?” _

_ He shrugged his shoulders. He couldn’t find the words he wanted to say, the words that crippled him and ate away at him. The words he wanted to say to you.  _

_ You laughed humorlessly, all the while cradling your bump. Din couldn’t stop staring at it, and at the same time he had a hard time looking at it too.  _

_ “Fine. Just… just leave me alone, Din.” You said and started to walk away.  _

_ It’s like time slowed down and his life flashed before his eyes. His heart pounded with a vengeance and everything just… stopped.  _

_ And he couldn’t do it. Not anymore, and not this time. He let you go before, practically threw you out, and this had to be a chance, right? His second chance at redemption. Not just for leaving you, but for everything bad thing he had ever done in his life; every life he’d ever taken, every bad decision he ever made, it was all screaming at him, taunting him.  _

_ “Stop!” He shouted.  _

_ You halted right in your steps, stiff and back turned towards him. You didn’t turn around, only tilted your head to the side to let him know you were listening.  _

_ “And why should I Din? You made it perfectly clear last time—” _

_ “I’m sorry.” He stopped you. “I’m so fucking sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for leaving you, for not being there for you. I’m sorry that I thought of myself, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you…” He could’ve kept going if you didn’t interrupt him.  _

_ “Didn’t tell me what?” You demanded, now facing him.  _

_ Your eyes held so much in them. Blurred and red from your tears but still just as breathtaking, especially in the sun. Din couldn’t take his eyes away from them, despite the fact that you couldn’t see, and took a step forward. When you didn’t flinch or step back, he took another, and another and another until your stomach barely touched him.  _

_ “I—there knew your name.” He finally said. “Quarries, dangerous people. And I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. Before, well it wasn’t as strong before—kriff you know what I mean, right? Along the lines I… I fell in love with you and I never stopped. I’m weak. I’ve become so weak in my desperation to—to save you, that I just…” _

_ He didn’t know how to finish it. He hoped that you could understand what he was saying to you. He hoped that you could see beyond his helmet, his armor, like he was so convinced you could do. He hoped that you could forgive him. It didn’t have to be now, but he hoped.  _

_ You didn’t waver, only looked him over with hard eyes. He let you assess him, even growing increasingly nervous under the cover of the unknown. Your jaw clenched and you bounced on your heel; Din immediately recognized this as you breaking.  _

_ “Din,” you suddenly whispered. “I can’t… if you have no plans at all, of staying and fully committing to this child.” You shook your head, biting down on your lip to keep yourself from sobbing. Sobbing at the image of Din walking away from you again, the man you gave practically everything to, the one who opened himself up to you—it was a sight you couldn’t stand, but you would do anything for your baby, and you would not let anyone, not even the Mandalorian, hurt him or her in any way.  _

_ Din nodded. “I know.” He took a deep breath. “This is all… very new to me. I can’t say I’ll be a great father, or a—a lover.” _

_ “Stay,” you said. “I—I’m not going to entirely forgive you right away, and there’s gonna be a lot of moments where I’m going to be very pissed off at you, and they’re going to come randomly. There’s going to be moments where I may not trust you to the fullest extent. We’re going to have to really work at this if we want it to work. Understand?” _

_ He nodded to the point of giving himself a little headache under the weight of the helmet; the joy of another chance overweighed the uncomfortableness. “Yes. Thank you.” _

_ You gave him a final stare and hard nod before saying, “Alright then, tin can.” _

_ You smiled then, small but fuck. It was perfect. A whole new light of hope that he could touch. Speaking of— _

_ “M-may I?” He asked nervously.  _

_ It took you a moment to register what he meant, but when it clicked your face relaxed and warmed up. “Yes.” _

_ It felt so… he couldn’t describe it. You were like an foreign object to him—no, it was the baby growing inside of you. His baby. He wasn’t sure on how to touch you, or how he was supposed to eventually hold this special creature. Din was going to try his fucking damnest to make it work.  _

He recalled that memory with a fond smile. It brought him to this moment. Now, without the familiar weight of the Creed on him, he took a deep inhale of fresh, sweet air and exhaled with a tilt of his lip. 

“Din?” You said again.

Din blinked down at you lazily, smiling in his haze. “Yes, cyar’ika?”

You wrapped your arms around his waist with a lopsided smile and squinted eyes; there wrinkles around them now, and you were just as beautiful as the day he met you. His own wrapped around yours, holding you tightly to him.

“I think there’s a storm coming.” You mumbled into the crook of his neck, lips barely brushing against the juncture of it but still giving him shivers. “We gotta get the kids inside soon.”

“Hmm.”

You looked up at him curiously. “Hey,” you whispered. “Where’d you go?”

The laughter of his children continued to echo. It used to bring nothing to him other than an occasional longing for something more than the life he had. But now, it was so much more and he had you to thank. It all started with  _ you _ . 

“No where’s.” He whispered back. “I’m right here.”   
  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: @aint-that-a-mcfreakin-bitch


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